Hello again :)
I haven't forgotten about my little place here. It's just been a wild road with so many bumps and turns that I had to regain my strength to update here. After I wrote the last entry in December 2005, I sank into a deep, deep depression that I could not bring myself out of no matter how hard I tried. Things were really tense at home. All the little things that had endeared Chris to me were making me even more irritated and annoyed than ever before. It all added up to a super heated arguement between us that lead to my leaving home for my mom's house. I stayed there for four days, enough time to let each of us cool off, think about what lead to the arguement and decide what to do from there. I finally admitted to myself as well as his sister that I needed some help for me. No matter what he decided to do about himself, there's things inside me that he can't work through for me. I needed to do it to make myself better. Therefore, I started seeing a counselor the week after Christmas and before New Years. Right from the start, I felt at ease and at home with the woman who I am talking with. From the first appointment I felt a huge weight be lifted off my shoulders. I didn't have to carry this burden alone any longer. All the stress and pressures I have been keeping inside and buried are being carried in a new way. It's really helping me and I hope to realize my full potential someday.
I'm happy to say that Chris and I are still together after having worked through some of the problems that were hidden from view until the fight. It's been a much closer relationship now that I realize what I do to make things hurtful or strained between us. I've been working really hard at not letting myself fall back into that same category as before. On New Year's Day, Chris told me that this year would be the year that I take care of me and no one else. Boy, was there never a more truer statement ever spoken. Ever since that day there's been so many things that I have had to address, acknowledge, deal with and then move on from them. I felt as though I was getting sick with a sinus infection around the 13th of January and by the 21st I was in the hospital being treated in the ER for pneumonia. I felt better for the first three days of treatment and then I was back in the ER on the 27th. This time the ER doctor admitted me to the hospital. The doctor in charge of my treatment during my stay was very concerned over my blood pressure being so high and the medications I take not being able to get it under some kind of control. He sent me down for a CT scan, something I had never done before. It was quite the experience. When they put the dye in your vein and tell you it will make you feel like you're peeing your pants, they aren't kidding! Lol, but I was allergic to the dye so it was a good thing. The results showed right away that not only did I have pneumonia in both lungs but a large blood clot in my right lung as well as a possible second smaller one. I was started on meds to dissolve the clots and then also put on Coumadin to keep them from forming again. The pneumonia was cleared up pretty quick because we had caught it at the start, but I was still in there until nearly the first of February. I did begin to write in my journal a few days before and have missed only one day of writing in it. My wonderful counselor said she would like for me to do it at least a half hour each day and no more than an hour. I am pretty proud that I've kept it up so long.
Needless to say I'm out of the hospital now. I am still having to take the Coumadin, so all my meds have been adjusted. Due to being sick, I haven't had an Enbrel shot for almost a month. Believe me, I can tell it too. I'm so stiff and my Fibro is acting up to the point that I have tears in my eyes most of the time. I can no longer take the Lodine and have been put on Celebrex until the Enbrel gets back into my system. Still take all the other meds until things settle with the blood issues. I did see my family and arthritis doctors earlier this week. I have been instructed to eat healthy and as low sodium as I can and to lose weight. I have been working on that but now I have more of a reason to lose the weight. I can start my Enbrel again on Sunday, so I am happy about that. Since I haven't been taking the Enbrel, my Psoriasis has been coming back with a vengeance on my elbows and knees. I have also noticed a few new joints that are tender and inflammed. That medicine is definitely my wonder drug.
Well, I'm off to update a few other things and get through all the emails I have. I am still recovering so I'm trying to take it slow. Hope all of you are well.
Love and blessings,
Kim
I'm happy to say that Chris and I are still together after having worked through some of the problems that were hidden from view until the fight. It's been a much closer relationship now that I realize what I do to make things hurtful or strained between us. I've been working really hard at not letting myself fall back into that same category as before. On New Year's Day, Chris told me that this year would be the year that I take care of me and no one else. Boy, was there never a more truer statement ever spoken. Ever since that day there's been so many things that I have had to address, acknowledge, deal with and then move on from them. I felt as though I was getting sick with a sinus infection around the 13th of January and by the 21st I was in the hospital being treated in the ER for pneumonia. I felt better for the first three days of treatment and then I was back in the ER on the 27th. This time the ER doctor admitted me to the hospital. The doctor in charge of my treatment during my stay was very concerned over my blood pressure being so high and the medications I take not being able to get it under some kind of control. He sent me down for a CT scan, something I had never done before. It was quite the experience. When they put the dye in your vein and tell you it will make you feel like you're peeing your pants, they aren't kidding! Lol, but I was allergic to the dye so it was a good thing. The results showed right away that not only did I have pneumonia in both lungs but a large blood clot in my right lung as well as a possible second smaller one. I was started on meds to dissolve the clots and then also put on Coumadin to keep them from forming again. The pneumonia was cleared up pretty quick because we had caught it at the start, but I was still in there until nearly the first of February. I did begin to write in my journal a few days before and have missed only one day of writing in it. My wonderful counselor said she would like for me to do it at least a half hour each day and no more than an hour. I am pretty proud that I've kept it up so long.
Needless to say I'm out of the hospital now. I am still having to take the Coumadin, so all my meds have been adjusted. Due to being sick, I haven't had an Enbrel shot for almost a month. Believe me, I can tell it too. I'm so stiff and my Fibro is acting up to the point that I have tears in my eyes most of the time. I can no longer take the Lodine and have been put on Celebrex until the Enbrel gets back into my system. Still take all the other meds until things settle with the blood issues. I did see my family and arthritis doctors earlier this week. I have been instructed to eat healthy and as low sodium as I can and to lose weight. I have been working on that but now I have more of a reason to lose the weight. I can start my Enbrel again on Sunday, so I am happy about that. Since I haven't been taking the Enbrel, my Psoriasis has been coming back with a vengeance on my elbows and knees. I have also noticed a few new joints that are tender and inflammed. That medicine is definitely my wonder drug.
Well, I'm off to update a few other things and get through all the emails I have. I am still recovering so I'm trying to take it slow. Hope all of you are well.
Love and blessings,
Kim
posted by Kim @ 10:25 PM
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