Catching up...

As you can tell, it's been about two weeks or so since I've actually written an entry in here. Just so much going on and I didn't have the ability to sit and type out everything. Had I been able to, my wrists definitely would have fallen off. They were so sore after the NaNoWriMo contest that I honestly didn't type much at all until about five days ago. I have been taking it one step at a time in getting back into my routines. Not to mention the fact that a lot of health problems have crept upon me without me knowing about them. I went to both my rheumy and my gp last week. On Monday, I saw my rheumy. I told the doc all about the feelings that I have been having, the depression, the fact that my muscles have been knotting themsleves up to the point that I get migraine headaches. On the good side of things, it's apparent that the Enbrel is working as my sed rate has dropped from 102 to 36 in just three months. So more bloodwork was ordered to double check the sed rate again until my next visit which is in January. The rheumy wanted to wait on the depression angle as I had yet to see my gp. I saw my gp on Tuesday. I had the usual female exam and no, I'm not going to bore you with the details. Let's just say that if I had a choice, I wouldn't get it done. But because of the female medical history throughout my family, I would much rather go through the exam once a year than to have to deal with something that could have been caught and/or prevented. I got the script for my birth control pills, not just for contraceptive reasons in case any of you out there were wondering. I have a chemical imbalance that they restore as well as the fact that with the medications I do take, it's absolutely necessary that I do not get pregnant. I also told my gp what the rheumy had said about the depression and talked to him about it a little. I agree that going without the level of hormones in my body has more than likely contributed to the way that I have been feeling. So we're going to give the pills a month to work and if I'm still having the same feelings and thoughts, then we'll go from there.

The family troubles haven't truly gotten any better either. No, I still haven't spoken to my aunt nor my cousin but I am planning to set down and write a letter to them both, explaining my position on the subject of my grandmother and how I feel. If they chose not to associate with me after that, then I am free of the guilt and heartache that I am feeling right now. I hate that my family is fragmented and hurting in all areas. But I can't always help that people make their own decisions, whether for the best or not. On top of all this my great uncle (my grandmother's younger brother) passed away this morning. He had suffered a brain bleed shortly before Thanksgiving and due to his age, health and other factors, there really wasn't much that the doctors could do other than keep him comfortable until he passed. I knew that it wouldn't be long after they had sent him back home that he would pass. In a lot of ways I am glad that he's no longer suffering as he would have been. Now he's able to rest without worries and I'm hoping that he will be able to keep tabs on his family better now that he has a better vantage point. I know that I will more than likely run into my aunt and cousin at the services but I will just have to cross that bridge when I get there. At the moment, I'm actually kind of numb. So we'll see how things progress.

I have gotten news also that a friend of mine in Colorado is battling cancer, though I'm not clear as to what type just yet. It seems like once you are touched in some way by the disease, it appears just about everywhere. I'm saying extras prayers/chants and sending positive healing thoughts to her way. I hope that you all will take a few seconds and do the same. I promise that things will get back to the regular schedule soon.

Until next time,
Kim