Sitting here thinking...

Things have been a little on the rough side here as of late in the emotion department. I truly have tried to look at every situation from all angles and not let my emotions take over which is my normal par for the course. I honestly think that I have done a decent job of stepping back and seeing what the other side looks like. But it all boiled down to people not understanding what it's like to live with what is called an invisible disease. If I did not have the limp in my walk nor the crooked fingers, there's nothing that would give another person a clue as to the fact that I'm unable to do all the things another person could. Thanks to the Enbrel, I am slowly gaining some of the things I had lost in the past ten years. I never really stopped and let it all seep in just how much I have lost because that would only make it difficult for me to rise above this and keep going. I'm so grateful that I have a husband who stuck with me for years before our marriage as well as the rocky road we've had to walk since that wonderful day. He's been one of the few things that has kept me chugging along. I am blessed to have a network of wonderful friends, both close and not so close. I love each and every single one of them for the joys and gifts they give me. There is also a great group of people that I have been so glad that I found. I belong to a support group for people with Psoriatic Arthritis and those who help take care of them. If you'd like to visit, please click here to check it out. I truly recommend going there if you feel like you've been all alone with this disease.

The weather is starting to settle down some now that the temperatures have finally dropped into the usual region of being freezing! Lol, it's what I would expect for Indiana in November. Up to the north of my little town, there are cities that are dealing with snowfalls. We've only had flurries for now. The funny thing is that the weatherman has forcasted rain during the week! It's said that if you don't like the weather here in Indiana, just wait five minutes and it'll change. Either way, I'm just happy that it's not going up and down all the time. Not much has happened around here. Chris bought some insulation for the attic yesterday and put up plastic on a few more windows to help keep the heating bills down this winter. With the way the prices are supposed to be, each little thing helps. I managed to do a couple loads of laundry as well as load up the dishwasher. I have been feeling icky the past couple of days and sincerely hope that I'm not going to get sick with the way the weather's changed or the fact I was down in the basement during that storm the other day. I will have to just keep track of everything and call the rheumy if I think it's getting a bit worse. Other than that, not much in the excitement department.

My mother went to see my grandmother in the new nursing home today. For the first time in about a year and a half and from what my mom tells me, my grandmother is getting back to her usual self. According to my aunt, my grandmother has been "talking out of her head" and doesn't really know what's going on around her. Yet while my mom was there today, my grandmother recognized an actor in a movie that normally is on a soap opera she hasn't watched in years. I don't really know the whole story about why my grandmother was moved around or left to basically rot in the other nursing home but I do know that things have been done to her that no one should go through. At this point all we have is her word and some documentation but I haven't seen any of it. This time of year is hard enough because we are facing the holidays after losing a very cherished family member. Now it is coming to light that those who I had loved and cherished aren't who they have made themselves out to be. My faith keeps me from lashing out and doing something that I would later regret, but it doesn't mean that a few not so nice thoughts haven't crossed my mind. I know that it will all work itself out. I just don't like the waiting.

So I'm off to work on the NaNoWriMo novel some more. I reached my goal of 20k words the other day and now have set the goal mark at 25k for tonight. I know I can do it if I pace myself and stop whenever I need to let my wrists rest a bit more. I will keep writing until I have to send in my draft. So whatever number I reach, I am going to be proud of myself. Coming this far is proof that I have what it takes to write a story and it not take seven years to complete. I know that there will be rewriting and edits, but just finishing the story is a step! Hang in there everyone and know that I am always keeping you in my thoughts.

Until next time,
Kim