Smiling through the grey

That's what I've been trying to do today. Not only because of the weather outside, but the storm inside me caused by being nervous. Last night was a tough night. I managed to write my letters as I wanted and do a little more work on the cross-stitch. Before I knew it, the time for my Enbrel shot came. So I got things ready. Last night, I found that I didn't have a hard time giving the shot to myself. I can't think of a reason as to why it was easier to give myself the shot then compared to all the other times. Maybe it was because I really wanted the tense muscles in my back to relax and the tenderness in my other joints to calm down some. The shot usually lasts until about Thursday or Friday but because of all that Chris and I had to do to prepare for his chemo treatments, I think it wore off quicker. After about an hour or so after the shot, the muscles in my back all seemed to knot up at the same time. I have no clue as to why that happened. All I can remember is the pain being more than I had to deal with in a long time. Chris tried to work some of them out but it only made me feel worse. I ended up taking one of the strong pain pills that I have and drifting off into a sound sleep. The only bad part was waking up this morning to a foggy head that cleared after about an hour.

I am kinda glad the day is an icky looking one outside. It means that I get to stay covered up with a blanket on the couch with my book and my cross-stitch. I am currently reading "The Hobbit" again. One of my friends at Livejournal works in a library and keeps track of what she has read. It kinda rekindled the love of reading for me. I decided to do the same but on my own here with the Excel software I had. So I set a goal of reading at least 50 books by the end of June. Of course, I'll extend it to another 50 by the end of December. Most of the books on my shelves haven't been read in a long while or at all. To do them justice, I will read them again. I am also going to try and do a few more rows on my cross-stitch. This seems to be the only day that I will be able to do what I would like to do as the rest of the week is filled with doctor visits for both myself and Chris. I received a call that my CT results were in my family doctor's office, so I'm off to see him tomorrow morning. Then Thursday is my counsleor appointment. Friday, we are at the Cancer Center for another treatment for Chris. I don't know how long I can keep up this pace with the weather as it is. But there'll be a way somehow.

I'm off to take care of a few bills and try to get some more stuff done. Hope everyone is having a great day. Take time to tell someone you love them. Never know what tomorrow holds.

Love and blessings,
Kim