Too much on my mind

For the past few years there's been a rumbling throughout my family concerning the care of my grandmother. I know I haven't been that active in her care but my circumstances haven't allowed it. I'm in a place now where things are starting to become more and more settled and I can help or take part in caring for her. Yet, there are so many things that have occurred that shouldn't have and things that should have taken place that haven't as of this moment. I had stayed out of a lot of the arguing and the name-calling until the other day when I had just had enough. I wrote to my aunt, asking her what was going on, to get her perspective. The response I got was a long email filled with accusations and cursing. I wrote one in my defense, basically stating that I was just trying to find out what was going on and if that was her response then unfortunately I will no longer take part in caring for her at the moment. I have grown up from the little girl that looked up to my aunt in blind love and belief that she could do no wrong. Her own actions have contradicted themselves on a number of occasions and when pressed, she makes out a pity party statement turning the cameras away from the matter at hand and back onto her poor, poor self. Therefore I am taking myself out of the picture once again unless it is needed by my grandmother.

With that said, my day hasn't been too bad although I have had to deal with the things written above. The sun is out and the sky is filled with wonderful white clouds. It's more like a summer day than a spring one. I have set outside on the front porch for a little while, just to soak up some of the sun's rays to help chase away the negative thoughts and feelings. The rest of the day is going to be spent working on my afghan and entertaining my youngest brother's girlfriend. She's going to stay here while he goes for a job interview. Chris stayed home from work today because he is having problems with his hands. I don't know what's going on but I will say that it's starting to scare me. He's been taking medication for them but every morning he wakes up, his hands are swollen and feel like they are on fire. I don't want to think that it's something serious. Yet my mind wanders there. He's missed two days so far and we just can't afford for him to miss many more or to lose his job completely. Deep down I remind myself that we've gotten through worse times and we'll get through this one. Just gotta hang in there. I was able to finish off another book yesterday. It was number 19 for the year so far. Slowly I'm gaining on that goal. Lol, one way or the other I'll get there.

Hope all of you are having a wonderful day/evening wherever you find yourselves. May the next day bring much more happiness and many smiles your way.

Love and blessings,
Kim