Hello Again
I know that it's been a super long time since I've written here. To be honest, I haven't done a whole lot of anything over the past year and a half. I half-heartedly tried to start things back up in the hopes that I was ready. Unfortunately, it proved to me that I still needed some time to get back to square one. Then real life decided to take a drastic turn for me and those I love. I'll get to all that in a little while. But first let me say that I am promising to do my very best to post something every day that I'm able to do so. I don't know if it will be interested but I'm going to do my best.
For those who are new (may be just a couple of you), I've spent the last 2 and a half years dealing with the loss of my younger brother who passed away due to Lupus (SLE). He and I were very close. I believe that we were so close because we went through many of the same trials. There are still a large number of experiences that he had that I haven't. But we still were taken out of a "normal" life at a young age and made to create some sort of a life with what we had been given. He was one of my closest friends. When he left this earth, I was in auto-pilot. Literally, I just did and said whatever I knew was expected of me just to get through the day. For a lot of the days, I don't remember much because I was given medication and basically put to bed. The last year, I feel like I have dealt with a lot of the emotions, anger, and wondering why that I had shortly after his passing. There's so much life happening while I was clinging to the thought of what might have been. I finally realized that I can honor his memory while living.
My health has played a large part in my acceptance of his passing. In 2006, I was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia only to discover that I had a blood clot in my right lung. I was treated and sent home on a coumadin therapy that my doctors and I thought was working great for me. Unfortunately, it wasn't the case. Beginning of this year saw me in the hospital for difficulty breathing. After a battery of tests, the doctor discovered that I either have a new blood clot that is as large as the bottom part of my right lung or the clot I had in 2006 had grown despite my being on the blood thinners. Just before my birthday, I was released from the hospital. Bad thing was that I ended up back in the hospital a few weeks later. I was put in ICU for a few days and then admitted to a regular room because they wanted to make sure that whatever was in my lungs besides the blood clot could be treated correctly. While in there, they took about 35 vials of blood to test me for everything from Lupus to other blood disorders. After nearly a month in the hospital this time, I spent the next couple of weeks going to specialists to discover that not only do I have to contend with the Psoriatic Arthritis and Fibromyalgia, I have something called Hughes' Syndrome or Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. Yeah, not something I would have known anything about at all.
But for now, my eyes grow heavy and I just feel stiff and tired from the storms we had roll through my area. Off to try and get some sleep. I'll try and keep this going the way I had intended.
Hugs&Love
For those who are new (may be just a couple of you), I've spent the last 2 and a half years dealing with the loss of my younger brother who passed away due to Lupus (SLE). He and I were very close. I believe that we were so close because we went through many of the same trials. There are still a large number of experiences that he had that I haven't. But we still were taken out of a "normal" life at a young age and made to create some sort of a life with what we had been given. He was one of my closest friends. When he left this earth, I was in auto-pilot. Literally, I just did and said whatever I knew was expected of me just to get through the day. For a lot of the days, I don't remember much because I was given medication and basically put to bed. The last year, I feel like I have dealt with a lot of the emotions, anger, and wondering why that I had shortly after his passing. There's so much life happening while I was clinging to the thought of what might have been. I finally realized that I can honor his memory while living.
My health has played a large part in my acceptance of his passing. In 2006, I was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia only to discover that I had a blood clot in my right lung. I was treated and sent home on a coumadin therapy that my doctors and I thought was working great for me. Unfortunately, it wasn't the case. Beginning of this year saw me in the hospital for difficulty breathing. After a battery of tests, the doctor discovered that I either have a new blood clot that is as large as the bottom part of my right lung or the clot I had in 2006 had grown despite my being on the blood thinners. Just before my birthday, I was released from the hospital. Bad thing was that I ended up back in the hospital a few weeks later. I was put in ICU for a few days and then admitted to a regular room because they wanted to make sure that whatever was in my lungs besides the blood clot could be treated correctly. While in there, they took about 35 vials of blood to test me for everything from Lupus to other blood disorders. After nearly a month in the hospital this time, I spent the next couple of weeks going to specialists to discover that not only do I have to contend with the Psoriatic Arthritis and Fibromyalgia, I have something called Hughes' Syndrome or Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. Yeah, not something I would have known anything about at all.
But for now, my eyes grow heavy and I just feel stiff and tired from the storms we had roll through my area. Off to try and get some sleep. I'll try and keep this going the way I had intended.
Hugs&Love
posted by Kim @ 10:29 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:23 PM,
Deirdre said…
Was wondering about you recently, glad to hear you're still going, hope things get better soon.
*hugs*
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