Life goes on....

Thank goodness for pressure fronts that move quickly through the state! This week had been terrible when it comes to the level of pain and stiffness that I had to go through. I should be used to the stiffness and the inability to do the things that I need to do. Add all the stress that has been piled on my family in the past week and it comes up to being a lot more than I have wanted to carry on my shoulders. I guess I'm just a little tired of enduring things over and over. I need a vacation. Lol, but I know that's not going to happen any time soon. So I am going to just stand a little straighter and walk (or limp) along this path with my faith and the love and the encouragement of my family and friends at my sides. I have a lot of worries going through my mind. My brother, Billy, is first and foremost on my mind today. He was doing so much better yesterday when I popped in at the hospital to see him. Of course, the day I go to visit him all he does is sleep. Lol, but his body needed the rest so I let him know I loved him and he could call me later in the day if he wanted to chat. The good news we got yesterday was that he was going to be moved out of the intensive care unit and into a regular hospital room because his tests came back within the limits the doctors wanted them. Even his need for oxygen dropped from 15 liters down to just 6 liters. I thought he was doing well until my mom called me later last night to tell me that he was a bit dehydrated so they were going to give him some fluid through the IV. This morning I waited for him to call me as he usually does but the phone never rang. I just thought maybe he was sleeping in or something. My mom called me when she got home from work to see if I had talked to Billy this morning because she couldn't get a hold of him. She called the nurses' desk and found out that Billy was down in the dialysis center getting dialysis again because his toxin levels were twice what the doctors wanted them, which means his blood was full of waste because his kidneys aren't functioning properly. One day, he's dehydrated and needs dialysis. The next day, he has too much fluid and can't breathe right. It's starting to really worry me (not to mention scare the crap out of my mom and dad) even though I know he's in the best possible place where they can take good care of him. I would really rather he be at home and not have to deal with this sickness stuff at all. If I could take the burden of this disease from him, I would without hesitation.

Today, the skies are clear but I'm still stiff and in some pain. More so from being exhausted from stress. As I've said before, there's a lot on my mind. I'm worried about various family members for problems with health, finances and just life in general. Not to mention the fact that our finances aren't the best right now either. I have all of my doctor bills as well as Chris's bills from chemotherapy last year and his treatment this year. But we've also been stuck because Chris hasn't been back to work since March. We're getting about half his regular paychecks every week thanks to his short term disability. Otherwise we would have lost our car, house and probably some of the clothes on our backs. We have some excellent friends that have extended their hands to help us. Many of the creditors have been working with us to help us get our bills paid off. There are only a few that have resolved to make our lives more difficult. But I still play by the rules and give them what little I can. It's times like these that I wish I could sell one of my manuscripts and not have to worry about money for a little while. One of these days it will happen. I do know that even if I came into a lot of money, it wouldn't solve all my problems. But I do know it will take away some of my worries.

Today I'm doing some laundry and loading the dishwasher. Chris is going to help me a bit with that so we can get more done. It's always that way. When we work together on something, it goes smooth and we are able to do more. Other than that I'm going to be working my way through some of my novel that I'm working on and read some more. Not too much more on my plate for the day. I go to the rheumy on Monday. Hopefully he will let me know what I can take for the arthritis because I can't live like this. Not when I know there are things out there that can help me live an almost regular life. Hope everyone is doing well out there. Please know that even though I haven't been online a lot, I still keep you all in my thoughts.

Love and blessings,
Kim