Weird Weather

That's about the size of things here in my little town. Last summer, we had some wild weather that ended up causing our town to flood massively. The street I live on and a few others was basically the island of dry land on our side of town. It's taken a fairly long time for the town to rebuild itself. But yesterday we had one heck of a downpour all at once. Several areas of the town began to flood again. The rivers and creeks began to spill from their banks. I have no doubt that several people affected by last year's flood were feeling anxious that this was going to be a repeat. For the damage that the heavy rains and severe weather did, it really wasn't as bad here as last year. So I'm thankful for that. However, the front didn't help my pain level any. Lol, I spent most of the day feeling as though someone had placed me into a vise and forgot to release me. Today is a bit better. Still feeling the muscle ache and the exhaustion. For some reason, I have had very little to no energy over the past two weeks. The doctors aren't sure what's causing it. Of course, it could be a number of things. Most likely, it's a combination of the Fibro kicking my butt and the Arthritis saying, "Oh, an opportunity to sneak in!"

I do have to admit that we've been having a mild summer so far. Not really a lot of hot, humid days as of yet. There's some expected over the weekend but really, we're below average. I'm not too saddened about not having them. Even though my breathing seems to be getting better, I do have trouble on the really humid days. The lung doctor wanted me to wean myself off the oxygen during the day except for when I was being active and then to wear it while sleeping. So far I have managed to spend many days with the oxygen off for a couple of hours before I have to wear it a little while. Since this month is basically "touch base with all the doctors month", I have a lung function test at the end of the month to see if my lungs are doing ok and if I will continue with the oxygen or not. *fingers crossed* Okay, not really since I'm typing. You know what I'm saying.

Still trying to read 100 books in a year. Lol, I have the books to do it. There's plenty here. It's just that I get so tired that I start to nod off when I read a few pages. Not to mention that I'm doing some super secret craft projects at the moment. I try to spend some time doing a little bit of everything and spoil my dog rotten. Even though there's 24 hours in a day, I feel like my days have been shorter since I haven't rested. I think I'm up to nearly 40 for the year so far. In March and April, I did a huge amount of reading since I really wasn't able to do a lot after getting out of the hospital. Since I've been getting stronger, I have been reading less and working on other things more. I still sneak some pages in there. Just need to do it more often, I suppose. The other thing I really need to do more of is writing. Since Billy died, I haven't really sat down and had a five hour writing session of old. Maybe one day.

For now, I'm tired. Probably going to lay down. Have a great day.

Hello Again

I know that it's been a super long time since I've written here. To be honest, I haven't done a whole lot of anything over the past year and a half. I half-heartedly tried to start things back up in the hopes that I was ready. Unfortunately, it proved to me that I still needed some time to get back to square one. Then real life decided to take a drastic turn for me and those I love. I'll get to all that in a little while. But first let me say that I am promising to do my very best to post something every day that I'm able to do so. I don't know if it will be interested but I'm going to do my best.

For those who are new (may be just a couple of you), I've spent the last 2 and a half years dealing with the loss of my younger brother who passed away due to Lupus (SLE). He and I were very close. I believe that we were so close because we went through many of the same trials. There are still a large number of experiences that he had that I haven't. But we still were taken out of a "normal" life at a young age and made to create some sort of a life with what we had been given. He was one of my closest friends. When he left this earth, I was in auto-pilot. Literally, I just did and said whatever I knew was expected of me just to get through the day. For a lot of the days, I don't remember much because I was given medication and basically put to bed. The last year, I feel like I have dealt with a lot of the emotions, anger, and wondering why that I had shortly after his passing. There's so much life happening while I was clinging to the thought of what might have been. I finally realized that I can honor his memory while living.

My health has played a large part in my acceptance of his passing. In 2006, I was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia only to discover that I had a blood clot in my right lung. I was treated and sent home on a coumadin therapy that my doctors and I thought was working great for me. Unfortunately, it wasn't the case. Beginning of this year saw me in the hospital for difficulty breathing. After a battery of tests, the doctor discovered that I either have a new blood clot that is as large as the bottom part of my right lung or the clot I had in 2006 had grown despite my being on the blood thinners. Just before my birthday, I was released from the hospital. Bad thing was that I ended up back in the hospital a few weeks later. I was put in ICU for a few days and then admitted to a regular room because they wanted to make sure that whatever was in my lungs besides the blood clot could be treated correctly. While in there, they took about 35 vials of blood to test me for everything from Lupus to other blood disorders. After nearly a month in the hospital this time, I spent the next couple of weeks going to specialists to discover that not only do I have to contend with the Psoriatic Arthritis and Fibromyalgia, I have something called Hughes' Syndrome or Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. Yeah, not something I would have known anything about at all.

But for now, my eyes grow heavy and I just feel stiff and tired from the storms we had roll through my area. Off to try and get some sleep. I'll try and keep this going the way I had intended.

Hugs&Love

Times of Transition

Hello again.



Nope, I didn't forget about this place. It's just taken me a long time to figure out where I was and what I wanted to do with a lot of things, this blog included. I haven't really made any final decisions because it seems to be that my life is pretty much in constant transition as of right now. To be honest, it's not just my life but the lives of those around me as well that are in a state of constant motion. Of course, one could argue that life is always a period of transition (Thanks, Matt) but for now it seems like really big things are changing. Some of them are a bit on the scary side.



With the state of the economy in the US right now, I have been a bit concerned about the downturn in the manufacturing jobs because my husband works for a company who makes engines for many of the trucks/buses that are in use here in the US and some parts of the world. His plant only works on a couple of different models which makes the sense of security not that stable. Since not a lot of people are buying the type of trucks that he makes engines for, the company had lowered the number of orders since about December 2007. In all honesty, we have kinda been expecting something since then. It was just the anticipation of whatever would be taking place that got to me more than anything else. Last week, Chris was notified that he would be part of a temporary lay-off until about the middle of August. He'll be getting a bit less than what he was bringing home during the slowdown at his work. It's going to be tight but we'll manage. There is some worry about other things working out. Yet right now, I don't have a lot of worry. If this was to happen a few years back, I would have been freaking out big time. Then I would be sick for a few days, unable to do anything other than sleep and be in severe pain. Still, not knowing if Chris will be called back to work only to be let off again, possibly for good, is a worry. Therefore we decided to take it upon ourselves to make a change to something that may be a bit more stable. Chris decided to leave the company and find a new job. So far, the new job has been going well. It's a 10 hour day for four days with most weekends free. It just takes some time getting used to for him. It's taking some time for me to get used to the schedule as well. I really don't sleep too well without him but if this is what gets us through, i'll have to deal with it. I'm just thankful that he was able to find a job at all. So to deal with the challenges that come with a new job, I think we can make it through.

Health-wise, things have been on both sides of the coin. The good things are that Chris is still cancer free and has passed the 3 year mark. A couple more years and he can say that he's in remission. I know that cancer is a tricky thing. We're more prepared now than we had been for that battle thanks to some great people at the Cancer Center here. He's still having some problems with his migraines. They have lessened over the past 6 months. They haven't gone away completely. I think that he'll have to deal with them for a long while because of the fact a number of stressors are his triggers. We'll just have to adjust when necessary.

As for me, I'm doing ok. I have had the same thought over and over the past few days. I feel like I've been in a walking dream for the past couple of years. Probably longer than that. But honestly, I have been sitting out on my front porch and just wondering what has happened to all the time I've missed. I know I've been a zombie of sorts. Last year, my youngest brother and I went to a concert with his girlfriend. While thinking about the bands, it hit me that the concert had been a whole year ago. I barely remember what had happened within the year's time. I don't know how I can reclaim those days but I know that I'm not going to let anymore time pass me by without a fight. I've lost too much already. Deep down, I know that much of my "time warp" stems from Billy's death. In all honesty, I didn't know how deeply losing him affected me and my daily life. He had been so sick for so long that I knew he wasn't going to grow old here with us on earth. Yet in losing him, I lost myself. So the past couple of years has been me floundering around and trying to find my footing in the world without one my biggest rocks. Today, I think I have my feet planted solidly on the ground. Just taking the first step is going to be a hard one. Unfortunately, it's not something that I can keep from doing. It has to be done sooner rather than later.

For now, I'll leave it at that. I promise to annoy aka fill you all in later on the other things. My hands are sore and needing a break. Hope all is well.
Love and blessings,
Kim

Health Headlines 1/16/08

Experts Examine Blood Clots, Angiogenesis In Women ~> Click here.

Alzheimer's Disease And Memantine ~> Click here.

VIVUS Initiates Extension Study With Qnexa For Diabetes ~> Click here.

Saliva Test For Breast Cancer, Study ~> Click here.

Reversal Of Alzheimer's Symptoms Within Minutes ~> Click here.

Rigel Announces Initiation Of Phase 1 Clinical Trial Of R348 For Rheumatoid Arthritis, Psoriasis And Other Immune Disorders ~> Click here.

Pharmion And MethylGene Start Phase 2 Combination Clinical Trial With MGCD0103 And Vidaza(R) In Patients With Relapsed Or Refractory Hodgkin Lymphoma ~> Click here.

Women With BRCA Mutation Might Have Lower Breast Cancer Risk Than Previously Thought, Study Says ~> Click here.

Statin Therapy Should Be Considered For Most Diabetes Patients ~> Click here.

Denying Emotions

I really hate that I haven't been able to blog. I've been trying to write here or there but nothing has been on the schedule that I wanted to write. The weather has been a factor in my not keeping my posting here. The other reason is that once I start, I tend to ramble from one idea or topic to the next. I think it's a way that I evade what's really going on inside me. I don't know if I can overcome that or if it's just something I will always do. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that with this weather, I haven't been able to move very well at all. It was near 60 degrees F, then dropping down in the 20s. A few days later, the temperature would be back up again. The wonderful weatherman says that it will be down in the 10s or lower in the next few days as an arctic front comes through. We have snow on the ground and the possibility of more. So who knows what the future holds? All that aside, I am hopeful to keep posting. That means that it may be a long, winded diatribe about whatever or just a few lines to say that I'm alive. If I am ever going to get back into the groove of writing, I'm going to have to make myself write.



As I said, I've had a lot of difficulties this past week or so that I've been unable to post here. First, I was having a lot of problems with my right hand being stiff and tender. Trying to type was a nightmare. A couple days later and the left hand began to do the same thing. Throughout this, I started having a really sharp pain in my left side. Apparently my diverticulitis decided to act up. Mr Fibro made an appearance so he wouldn't be forgotten and left me stiff, sore and in much pain. I think Pain has become my most constant companion nowadays anyway. Whether the pain is physical or emotional, it's still here with me. Right now, I keeping on my happy mask because I don't want to deal with pain I'm feeling. I know I should deal with things as they come, but I don't really want to face this again. What am I trying to avoid? Celebrating my birthday without my brother. His birthday is the day after mine. We'd always have them celebrated together because it was easier on my family that way. After so many years of celebrating them together, it's so weird to now have the birthday all to myself. Instead of making plans to have a celebration, plans are being made to go to the graveyard. It just seems surreal to me. I want to celebrate the life Billy had and I want to make a positive impact on those who are suffering as he did. I look at his picture or see something he was interested in. It all reminds me of what could have been. That makes me sad. So I put it in a little box and slip it behind all the other boxes that I don't want to deal with at the moment. Of course, a natural reaction but those boxes are starting to pile up.

Today was a bed day. My side and hands are really bothering me. It's taking me forever to type this and I know my hands are going to be hurting once I'm completely done. I am working my way through my emails and stuff once again. Whenever I start to get back on a schedule of stuff, I get stuck in the bed so things back up again. Never ending! There are a few other things on my mind, but I'll have to work them out here later.

Hope today was a good day for you all.
Love and blessings,
Kim

Health Headlines 1/15/08

FDA To Review Data That Find Anemia Drugs Increase Death Risk, Tumor Growth In Cancer Patients ~> Click here.

Chronic Pain Relieved By Strength Training Of Neck Muscles ~> Click here.

Arthritis Patients See Improvement In Symptoms Following Exercise Program ~> Click here.

Research Published By SAGE In The Current Issue Of Chronic Illness ~> Click here.

Abbott's HUMIRA (Adalimumab) Receives License For The Treatment Of Chronic Plaque Psoriasis In The UK ~> Click here.

Electronic Tagging - Enabling Or Disabling People With Dementia? UK ~> Click here.

Despite Efforts, Significant Racial Disparities In Cancer Therapy Still Exist ~> Click here.

Bisphosphonates Linked To Incapacitating Bone, Joint, and Muscle Pain - FDA Alerts ~> Click here.

Colon Cancer Risk In U.S. Traced To Common Ancester ~> Click here.

Depression In Females Linked To Sense Of Smell ~> Click here.

Health Headlines 1/4/08

Protein's New Role Discovered In Autoimmune Disease ~> Click here.

Helping Kids Cope With A Sibling's Diagnosis ~> Click here.

Magnetic Field Shown To Reduce Swelling ~> Click here.

Recent Studies Indicate Lack Of Health Insurance 'Seriously Harmful' To Health, Editorial States ~> Click here.

Insured, Wealthier Patients More Likely To Receive No-Cost Prescription Drug Samples From Physicians, According To Study ~> Click here.

Surgery Has No Clear Benefit For Sleep Apnea ~> Click here.

Arthritis Burden Soaring, Experts Say ~> Click here.

FDA Approves Hi Flex Mobile Bearing Knee For Active Adults ~> Click here.

Learning To Forgive May Improve Well Being ~> Click here.

It's COLD!!!! Day 2...lol

Yep, this is day two of the frigid temps here. It's a balmy 24 degrees F at the moment. Tonight, the temperature is supposed to dip lower but then bounce back up fairly quickly. I'm not going to do much today. I think I may be able to load the dishwasher but then it's back under my blankets as fast as I can waddle to them. Also, I'm not going to do a big post today. My hands are aching a bit too much. Therefore, I hope that you all get warm and stay warm!

Love and blessings,
Kim

Health Headlines 1/3/08

Elevated Risk Of Cognitive Problems In Elderly Surgical Patients ~> Click here.

The Effects Of High-Dose Vitamin C On Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma Patients ~> Click here.

Breakthrough Offers Potential Treatment For Rheumatoid Arthritis ~> Click here.

Large And Growing Public Health Problem Identified: The Prevalence And Impact Of Arthritis And Other Rheumatic Conditions ~> Click here.

Targeting Cancer With New Strategies ~> Click here.

Researchers Find Hispanic Women More Likely Than Thought To Have Genetic Mutation That Increases Chances Of Developing Breast, Ovarian Cancers ~> Click here.

Research Suggests New Treatment Suitable For All Brain Tumor Patients ~> Click here.

Two Hour MRSA And Staph Blood Test Gets FDA 510 (k) Clearance ~> Click here.