Health Headlines 3/27/07

Medarex Announces Initiation Of Phase I Clinical Trial For The Treatment Of Psoriasis ~ Click here.

Gene Mutation Uncovered That Cuts Colon Polyps And May Suppress Cancer ~ Click here.

Study Reveals "Missing Link" Between Pre-Diabetes & Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus ~ Click here.

Survivors Of Hodgkin's Lymphoma At Higher Risk Of Second Cancer ~ Click here.

Dark Chocolate May Lower Risk Of Cardiovascular Disease ~ Click here.

New Study Shows Benefits Of Quitting Smoking ~ Click here.

Genetic Risk For Schizophrenia Uncovered By Feinstein Researchers ~ Click here.

JANUVIA® Approved In EU For Type 2 Diabetes Treatment - First DPP-4 Inhibitor To Be Adopted By European Commission ~ Click here.

After Treatment For Childhood Leukemia, Rate Of Secondary Cancers Increases Over Years ~ Click here.

University Of Leicester Research Reveals Rice Bran Could Reduce Risk Of Intestinal Cancer ~ Click here.

Mental Health Services Fail Adolescents - The Lancet Adolescent Health Series ~ Click here.

Novel Peptide Could Boost Availability And Success Of Islet Cell Transplant For Type-1 Diabetes ~ Click here.

UCB Provides Update On CIMZIA(TM) For Crohn's Disease And Rheumatoid Arthritis In The US ~ Click here.

Researchers Reveal Biological Properties Of Exciting New Class Of Potential Anti-Cancer Drugs ~ Click here.

New Initiative To Encourage Fruit And Vegetable Consumption Supported By American Cancer Soc', American Heart Assoc' & American Diabetes Assoc' ~ Click here.

Fresh Hope Of Longer Survival For Kidney Cancer Patients - Metastatic Renal Cell Cancer Could Become A Chronic Rather Than Fatal Disease ~ Click here.

Busy Weekend...now paying for it

So my weekend was a busy one. Yep, just like the title suggests, I'm paying for it now. I'm still having some major pain my back and hands but it's nothing I'm not used to dealing with on a day to day basis. I do need to try and get a load of towels into the washer here in a little while so that there are clean towels in the house! Lol, I don't mind the washing and drying parts of doing laundry. It's the taking out of the washer, putting into the dryer and folding parts that I can't do without some difficulty. Okay, some days there is a lot of difficulties. But I have adapted the way I do things for the most part. I'm just mostly taking it easy today. Unfortunately today is also the showing for the father-in-law of my hubby's younger sister. It was an unexpected death just as the other funeral that Chris's family had to attend earlier this month. Chris's older sister had a brother-in-law also pass away unexpectedly at the beginning of this month. I told Chris that it seems as if the in-laws are getting crapped on this time around. I paid my respects to those affected by the deaths in letting others know that I wish I could be there but unfortunately both showings were held in the same building that Billy was in. I can not go through that right now. I'm just now getting the pieces put back together and I don't think I can stand up to being in the same room without falling apart. I'm not that strong yet. It's not been six months since Billy's death. So I will just state here that I'm very sorry for the losses of each family and I will keep the family in my thoughts and prayers.

Now to what happened over the weekend. Well, for starters, I got all my hair chopped off! Okay, not all of it but it sure seems that way. I rode with Chris to his place of work so I'd know the way to go when I picked him up later Friday night. Then the first order of business was getting my hair cut. It really was giving me headaches because of the thickness and the weight of the hair. The beautician told me about a good shampoo to use on my Psoriasis as well. It's a theraputic shampoo that was designed for people with severe dandruff but it works well on Psoriasis as well. I bought some to see how it goes. I hope it works. Since I'm no longer taking the Enbrel shots, my Psoriasis has been given the go-ahead to come back a little worse than before. I've tried some of the other shampoos but they didn't work for me. I'm hoping this does. The beautician even measured the ponytail she cut off. It was 15 and a half inches long! I'm donating it to the Locks of Love in Billy's name. Three years ago I donated my hair as well. I think it's becoming a tradition for me. It makes me feel like I'm helping out a bit. Now my hair is still down to my collar but so much lighter feeling than it has been in a long while. From the beauty salon, I went over to the local mall to one of the stores that my friend, Sam, and I love lots. I have added Bath & Body Works to the list of stores that I'm not allowed to go into unless there's someone else with me that will help me restrain myself. They have so many wonderful lotions and body splashes (kinda like perfume only not as expensive). They smell sooo wonderful. I could have spent forever in there but I needed to also get my pro-time done.

I hate going to the hospital, even to the Lab to get my bloodwork done. I know it's nothing against those people who work there. Really they are some of the nicest and most caring people I have ever known in my life. There are a lot of care partners, nurses, volunteers and doctors that I feel my life wouldn't have been the same had I never been introduced to them in the first place. But that is also the place where Billy lived his last minutes, days. It's hard to walk in there and not want to go up to the floors that were like a second home to all of us or see the people who became family. Last Friday, I did go there and I did get my pro-time done. I hope that at some point I will not have to continue taking the Coumadin so that I can stop or at least have longer distances between the pro-times. I know that until my blood stays between the numbers they want to keep it at, I really don't have a choice. We just have to wait and see. After getting the pro-time, I stopped by Mom and Dad's house just to annoy them for a few minutes until I had to stop by my house to change clothes and get ready for Sam's bday party. It was kinda nice going over there for a little while just to talk and pester them. I honestly swear the hour I was there flew by. I came home, changed and made my way over to Chili's where my friend, Sam, wanted her bday dinner held. The only people who showed up were myself, Sam, her boyfriend and her sister. I felt kinda bad that there weren't more people but I think we still had fun anyways. She was happy to get the cucumber melon stuff that I had bought for her. We all chatted, ate and goofed around for a couple of hours. Once we all decided to leave, I decided to stop by Wal-Mart to waste some more time before I had to go pick up Chris from work. I didn't want to go out there too early because I didn't want the security guards to pester me. I was going to pick up the yarn to do yet another baby blanket but the yarn wasn't on sale. I can get it cheaper at a local craft store. I just got a small notebook and a pen just in case the mood to write struck me. Then I drove out to Chris's work. It was a long drive and I was definitely full of dinner and sleepy so I'm glad I went early. Since I had the tag he puts in the car, the guards didn't pay any attention to me. I will say this though. Do not read any stories involving Hannibal Lector when you're waiting for someone to get off work in the middle of nowhere when it's pitch black outside! Lol, I was reading "Silence of the Lambs" while waiting for Chris to get off work. Not a good choice at that point in time.

Saturday I rested a bit. My legs hurt soooo bad with all the walking that I did on Friday but it was worth it. I haven't had a day for myself in a really long time. It felt good even though I haven't had a day without pain since. Sunday I was a hurting a bit more than usual but got a distraction when my niece came over to spend the night with me. I was wondering why she was asking to stay Sunday night if she had school on Monday. Then it hit me. She was on Spring Break. Lol, so we goofed around, played on the computer and chatted a lot. We watched Flicka together. It was a pretty good movie. Plus it was fun to just moon over Tim McGraw and be silly without having to worry about anything. Monday morning was when we got the bad news about another death in the family. My niece went home after her mom got off work. I was going to lay down for a bit but I had Sam coming over to hang out. She doesn't have the net at her place yet so I let her borrow the computer here for a bit and then we usually watch Heroes. Since that's been on hiatus until April 23rd, we started watching her dvds of Invader Zim. Lol, I am so loving that cartoon. It's definitely my kind of humor.

That's pretty much all that I've been up to in the last few days. I know I said I was going to try and go back to the every day posting but I just haven't felt up to it as of late. I do feel as though I'm doing well in getting caught up with everything like emails and messages. I just have to figure out a schedule to finish up the rest. Oh and before I forget, Happy First Day of Spring to those who celebrate today. I wish you many blessings in the upcoming season. And before I go, I want to say congratulations to my friend Stacy. She is getting married today and I had planned to be there with her. Unfortunately my plans had to change due to Billy's death and the money we had saved was used on me getting better. I wish I could be there. I am in spirit. I wish you both joy, happiness, laughter and much love in your life together. Maybe you have days that you remember forever and moments that take your breath away.

Love and blessings to all,
Kim

Re-awakening?

I know it's been over a month since I lasted posted anything. I haven't forgotten about you, my few readers, or this blog. For whatever reason, the month of February and the past week have been really hard to get through without medication and just hiding myself away except for the few moments that I spend with close friends and family on the telephone or through mail. I've only been on the net in the past few weeks to play games to distract myself a lot. I admit to ignoring my mail for a while. I just didn't want to go online to all that because I was doing whatever I could to distract myself from what I knew I needed to do - grieve. See, when Billy died, I cried. That day and night, I cried a lot. Then I had to be strong for the rest of my family. I wanted to make sure that everyone else was taken care of so that I wouldn't have to worry about them. My dearest friend, Deb, came all the way from Texas to be at my side during the showing and the funeral. I can never repay that woman enough for being a sister to me and in the past few weeks, I've felt as though I've let her down by not talking a lot. I let people think I was numb because I had taken my anxiety meds but in reality, I was just numb because I didn't want to think about the reality of it all.

Billy was my best friend. Yes, more than Deb, more than Chris, more than anyone in my life. He was the one person who knew me more than I ever knew myself - ever. He always knew what to say when I needed advice or what to say to make me laugh through my pain. After he died, my world crashed. Everyone was telling me it was okay to cry, to feel the pain and then to live above it because he would want me to keep going and make others laugh or smile. I didn't want to do that. I knew when I did allow myself to feel that I couldn't handle it. I knew it would overwhelm me and I would be swallowed up by the emotions. Maybe I could overcome it. Maybe it would take me with it. This past month I didn't have a choice. Everything I had been stuffing into neat little boxes and shoving into the dark corners of my mind burst from the boxes and flooded me. I wasn't the only one because my mom and brother, Andy, have told me that the past month has been hard for them too. I sometimes wish that my family was one where we could speak openly and honestly about everything instead of picking and choosing what to say. I do my best to be honest with everyone and to also respect what the other person tells me but I wish the same could be said of others. At any rate, I finally broke about two or three days after my last post here. Something hit me and I just couldn't stop thinking about Billy. My mind brought up the last moments of his life and replayed them over and over like a movie in my head. Then it was the bits and pieces of the showing and the funeral. I didn't know how to grieve and go on because I never had to do that before.

At this point, I'm doing okay. I smile and laugh a bit more freely now than I did last month. I can look at Billy's picture that sits beside my bed and not fall into sobs and tears. I can listen to the radio or the satellite music station and not have each song remind me of what I've lost. I know that Billy's life and attitude of love and patience touched a lot of people. It warms my heart to know that. I hope and I pray that one day I will be able to write his story. The pain of doing it hurts too deeply to even think of it right now. One day I will. Just not today.

Love and blessings,
Kim